Could I bleed out the sadness
If I slit my wrists?
I need a happiness
Transfusion;
But no one will donate….

On the verge of madness
As I sit here alone.
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My heart aches-
But Poetry
Is all I have to offer.

PSL 3-11-16

My thoughts are mean
Angry
Hurtful

When I look around me I feel
Angry
Unkind
Destructive
Dangerous

I am not who I was a few days ago
A few hours ago
That self would
Advise this self to lock himself in a room somewhere

I should not be in public right now
Not driving a car
Which I know I’m driving too fast
But I do it anyway
I don’t recognize my impulses
My thoughts are foreign
Aggressive

I know this is all a misfire of brain chemistry but when I think of myself as sick
I am led down a path that frightens me
Self loathing
Self recrimination
A madness beyond my control
To stop
And beyond my fortitude
To accept

Now I get angry
Red fire nuclear angry
At my insurance company for charging so much for the med of choice.
At the overreaching physician and his short shrift change in prescription that has me in hell
At myself for not wielding my trust more wisely

Remain stoic as tears drip slowly onto the child seat of the shopping cart.
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Say nothing
Surely the strangers will remain silent as they change the treasure map to avoid whatever aisle I’m on.

Acknowledge nothing
They are too far away to see the shaking
Too isolated to feel the nearly electric seething that seems to start in the soul and begs for your body to contain it.
And the nausea

That motherfucker!

This is not what fine looks like

When will this pass
This has to pass
Has to wear off eventually
Doesn’t it?

What if this is as good as it gets from here on out

No. I will not go down that road either
I do everything I can to slam down the barriers on causeways
Too unthinkable to traverse
Too unthinkable for now. But what if it doesn’t wear off?

What if it gets worse?
The morning didn’t start off like this
The afternoon brought good news
Yet here I am
Walking in circles to spare the ones I care about.
To shield them from what. I am today.

Trying to walk off the prescription like an accidental poison.
Now I understand the words on the bottle.
Now I am become the warning on the Prozac label.

ASL 1/14

My body – covered in letters and phrases –
Your hands – molding them into poetry.
The story is conceived. Will it be born or aborted?
Written or discarded? Will it be READ?

PSLaRue
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Feb 17, 2016 8:46 PM
All Rights Reserved

I have warmed the night
With thoughts of our love.
They echo in my beating heart
And wrap me in the warmth
That is you.

I have illuminated the night
With memories of your eyes
Reaching into my hardened soul
Giving it life and love
That is you.

I have endured the night
Singing melodies of our joy
Weaving lifetimes into one life
Endless songs of loving hearts
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Just for us.

I have welcomed the dawn
Dancing on the rays of sunlight
Bringing me closer to your arms
And a day full of love
Just for us.

I have warmed the night.

Nita Oard
May 9, 2015
All rights reserved

He’s dated the pretty girls, the popular girls,
Yet he’s eyeing you like you are desired.
He smiles, he winks, he teases you with words
And touches that make you blush. You
Feel special, maybe for the first time.
Venerable, you let down your guard.
Clinging to that first experience in his arms
You give him control. He walks away laughing.
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Leaving you with the promise that he’ll be back.
And he is; when it’s convenient for him.

By PSLaRue

All Rights Reserved

Hey Y’all! It’s that month, February. For some it means love for others, loneliness!
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John O’Neill is a valued member of Humanity Thru Art and a veteran of the Vietnam War. Below is one of his poems.

When I was younger
I played war often
And at lunch
Mother invited the dead and dying
On both sides
Home for soup and sandwiches
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When I was older I played for keeps.
And often ate
Alone.

John Michael O’Neill

If looks could kill I’d stare into a mirror;
But it’s not that easy.
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Yet another palm reader predicts a long life;
I weep at the tragic news.